JBConcepts

This semi-blog-type-website was last updated on: 13 June 2008

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CCTV Headquarters

PHENOMENAL new building planned in china!!

At a modest 234m the CCTV building isn't going to stand out from a distance, however the design and shape is a crowd stopper to say the least and will be another incredible addition to Beijing 's skyline in time for the 2008 Olympics. The shape, described as a 'z criss-cross' results in a very high, seemingly unsupported corner at the front. let's hope there's a glass floor up there.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted on: 12 June 2008 | Category: World Architecture

 

AutoCAD Lessons?!

Something any autocad user would be proud of!....

 

Posted on: 13 June 2008 | Category: Humor

 

Chicago spire to be completed in 2010

PHENOMENAL!!

The phenomenal Chicago spire, when completed in 2010, will be the world's tallest residential building and the tallest building of any kind in the western world. Seemingly modeled on the image of a giant drill poking through the ground, the 609m structure will dominate the Chicago’s skyline.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted on: 12 June 2008 | Category: World Architecture

 

Engineers with a sense of humor!

hard to believe!....

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe Sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the Form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next Flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour.
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' Pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an Accident.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute Descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

Posted on: 12 June 2008 | Category: Humor

 

Biggg camels!

amazing top view in desert!....

 This picture was taken in 2005 by George Steinmetz for National Geographic magazine in the Subat desert, Turkey. The picture is taken directly from the top, but with the sun's angle at late afternoon looks like camels in elevation!!

Posted on: 11 June 2008 | Category: Photography

 

Do not talk to my parrot!

i suppose we all should listen more!....

Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check."

"Oh, by the way don't worry about my bulldog. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!"
"I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!"

When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman
go about his work.

The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled, "Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!"

To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike!".

Posted on: 11 June 2008 | Category: Humor

 

Can you guess what this is?

HARD TO BELIEVE!!

Its a hard disk in 1956....  

HDD with 5MB storage in 1956. In September 1956 IBM launched the 305 RAMAC, the first computer with a hard disk drive (HDD). The HDD weighed over a ton and stored 5MB of data. Start appreciating your 4 GB memory stick!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted on: 10 June 2008 | Category: Technology

 

Think Laterally!!

what would your recommendation be?.....

Many years ago in a small Indian village, a farmer had the misfortune of owing a large sum of money to the village moneylender. The moneylender, who was old and ugly, fancied the farmer's beautiful daughter. So he proposed  a bargain.
He said he would forgo the farmer's debt if he could marry his daughter. Both the farmer and his daughter were horrified by the  proposal. So the cunning moneylender suggested that they let providence decide the matter. He told them that he  would put a black pebble and a white pebble into an  empty
moneybag. Then the girl would have to pick one pebble from the bag.

1. If she picked the black pebble, she would become his wife and her father's debt would be forgiven.

2. If she picked the white pebble, she need not marry him and her father's debt would still be forgiven.

3. But if she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into jail.

Standing on a pebble-strewn path in the farmer's field, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles. As he picked them up, the sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two black pebbles and put them into the bag. He  then asked the girl to pick a pebble from the bag.

Now, imagine that you were standing in the field that day.
What would you have done if you were the girl? If you had to advise her, what would you have  told her? Careful analysis would produce three possibilities:

1. The girl should refuse to take a pebble.

2. The girl should show that there were two black pebbles in the bag and expose the moneylender as a cheat.

3. The girl should pick a black pebble and sacrifice herself in order  to save her father from his debt and imprisonment.

Take a moment to ponder over this story. Experts use it to  make people appreciate the difference between lateral and logical  thinking. The girl's dilemma cannot be solved with traditional logical thinking. Think of the consequences if she chose any of the above logical choices.

What would you recommend to the girl do?

Please email us for the answer....

Posted on: 10 June 2008 | Category: Trivia

 

This is how business is done!!

conversation between baboo & his son.....

Baboo: I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Son: "I will choose my own bride!"
Baboo: "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter."
Son: "Well, in that case...ok"
Next Baboo approaches Bill Gates.
Baboo: "I have a husband for your daughter."
Bill Gates: "But my daughter is too young to marry!"
Baboo: "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."
Bill Gates: "Ah, in that case...ok"
Finally Baboo goes to see the president of the World Bank.
Baboo: "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President: "But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!"
Baboo: "But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law."
President: "Ah, in that case...ok"
This is how business is done!!

Posted on: 10 June 2008 | Category: Humor

 

Pop, pop quiz!

can you figure out all 70 bands?....

 The picture above is an artwork in which 70 'pop' bands' names are hidden! Can you figure out all 70 pop acts? Here's a clue to get you started....The guy in the bottom right corner is 'Smashing pumpkins' and below it, the 20 matchboxes represents Matchbox 20.....Click on the image or here for a bigger view! When you are so frustrated that you want to kill yourself, email us for the answers!

Posted on: 9 June 2008 | Category: Trivia

Mafia Godfather

do you have the guts?!....

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has screwed him for ten
million bucks. The bookkeeper is deaf. It was considered an
occupational benefit, and why he got the job in the first place, since it was assumed that a deaf bookkeeper would not be able to hear anything he'd ever have to testify about in court. When the Godfather goes to shakedown the
bookkeeper about his missing $10 million bucks, he brings along his attorney, who knows sign language.

The Godfather asks the bookkeeper: "Where is the 10 million bucks you
embezzled from me?".
The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper where the 10
million dollars is hidden.
The bookkeeper signs back: "I don't know what you are talking about."
The attorney tells the Godfather: "He says he doesn't know what you're
talking about."

That's when the Godfather pulls out a 9 mm pistol, puts it to the
bookkeeper's temple, cocks it, and says: "Ask him again!" The attorney
signs to the underling: "He'll kill you for sure if you don't tell him!"

The bookkeeper signs back: "OK! You win! The money is in a brown
briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo's backyard in Queens!"
The Godfather asks the attorney: "Well, what'd he say?"

The attorney replies: "He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger."

Posted on: 9 June 2008 | Category: Humor

 

The new Audi A4 is here!

audi drive select - first in its class technology!....

 The new Audi Drive Select system, overcoming the conflict between agility and comfort. With dynamic steering and/or damping control, suspension characteristics can be changed at any time via the onboard MMI system, while driving. The dynamic Drive Select function is an Audi innovation that sets them apart from their competitors. The option to choose a drive style dynamically enhances the driving experience.

Posted on: 6 June 2008 | Category: Technology

 

Time travel machine auction

THIS MUST BE ONE OF THE FUNNIEST ONLINE AUCTIONS EVER!!!

Unfinished project.

Started making a machine to facillitate time travel,

unfortunately I just dont have the time to complete

it.

Have had mixed results, so no guarantees.

Would suit DIY handyman with quantum physics

background or similar intersest.

No time wasters please !

Would consider swap for anti-gravity machine.

Read more....

Posted on: 6 June 2008 | Category: Humor

 

Leaving the scene of the accident in a hurry!

run before the cops come!....

Perhaps it best to leave the scene of the accident as quickly as possible.....

Posted on: 5 June 2008 | Category: Humor

Fire truck

every firetruck needs a siren!....

A fire fighter is working on the engine outside the station when he
notices a little girl next door in a little red wagon, little ladders
hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.
The girl is wearing a fire fighter's helmet. The wagon is being pulled
by her dog and her cat.
The fire fighter walks over to take a closer look. "That sure is a nice
fire truck," the fire fighter says with admiration.
"Thanks," the girl says.
The fire fighter looks a little closer and notices the girl has tied
the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles.
"Little Partner," the fire fighter says, "I don't want to tell you how
to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's
collar, I think you could go faster."
The little girl replies thoughtfully, "You're probably right, but then
I wouldn't have a siren."

Posted on: 5 June 2008 | Category: Humor

Do you need to have your eyes tested?

eye test....

Increase the distance to the chart until you can read the contents.....

Posted on: 5 June 2008 | Category: Humor

View From the Top!

picture taken from the burj dubai, tallest building...

This picture was taken from the 'Burj Dubai', the current tallest building on earth, even while it is still in construction at this point in time! The final height will be around 818m high, about 300m higher that the previous tallest building the Taipei 101. (Click on the picture for a larger view....)

 

Posted on: 4 June 2008 | Category: World architecture

The Doctor's Waiting Room

I love these old guys!....

They always ask the doctor’s office why you are there and you say in front of others what’s wrong and sometimes it’s embarrassing. There’s nothing worse than a doctor’s receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of patients. I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it! An 86-year-old man walked into a crowded Doctor’s waiting room. As he approached the desk, the Receptionist said. “Yes sir, what are you seeing the doctor for today?”

“There’s something wrong with my dick” he replied.

The Receptionist became irritated and said, “You shouldn’t come into a crowded Doctor’s room and say things like that.”

“Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you,” he said.

The Receptionist replied, “You’ve obviously caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and then discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private.”

The man replied, “You shouldn’t ask people things in a room full of others, if the answer could embarrass anyone.” The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered.

The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, “Yes?”

“There is something wrong with my ear,” he stated.

The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. “And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?”

“I can’t piss out of it,” the main replied.

The Waiting room erupted in laughter!

 

Posted on: 4 June 2008 | Category: Humor

Compassionate Contractors

poor wife!!!....

Three guys were working on a high-rise building project - Steve, Bruce and Bluey.

Steve falls off and is killed instantly.  As the ambulance takes the body away, Bruce says, "Someone should go and tell his wife."

 Bluey says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it."

 Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of Castle. Bruce says, "Where did you get that, Bluey?"

"Steve's wife gave it to me," Bluey replies.

"That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you the beer?"

 "Well not exactly," Bluey says. "When she answered the door, I said to her, 'You must be Steve's widow'.

 She said, 'No, I'm not a widow.' And I said, 'I'll bet you a case of Castle you are'."

 

Posted on: 3 June 2008 | Category: Humor

The Best pub sign ever!

the fcuk inn - liquor in the front, poker in the rear...

 

Posted on: 2 June 2008 | Category: Humor

Farmer from texas

Ouch!!!....

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Texas. He shot and dropped a

bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.

 As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his

tractor and asked him what he was doing.

 The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now

I'm going to retrieve it."

 The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over

here."

 The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the

United States and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take

everything you own.

The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle

disputes in Texas. We settle small disagreements like this with the "Three

Kick Rule."

The lawyer asked, "What is the Three Kick Rule?"

The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, first I

kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and

forth until someone gives up."

 The attorney thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could

easily take the old codger.

He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down

from the tractor and walked up to the attorney.

His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the

lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick to the midriff

sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all

fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end sent him face-first into

a fresh cow pie.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet.

Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, Now it's my

turn."

The old farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up. You can have the duck."

 

Posted on: 2 June 2008 | Category: Humor

New FNB Building in Johannesburg, SA

NEW BUILDING PLANNED AT BEYERS NAUDE RD....

 

Posted on: 30 May 2008 | Category: SA Architecture

Kids with Cats?

why would the kids carry so many cats....

There is a bus with 7 Children

 

Each child has 7 backpacks

In each backpack are 7 big cats

Each big cat has 7 kittens

Each cat has 4 legs

 

Question: How many legs are in the bus?

 

Posted on: 30 May 2008 | Category: Trivia Math

Secret code

What was that damn combination again?

A man wanted to get into his work building, but he had forgotten his code. However, he did remember five clues. These are what those clues were:

The fifth number plus the third number equals fourteen.

The fourth number is one more than the second number.

The first number is one less than twice the second number.

The second number plus the third number equals ten.

The sum of all five numbers is 30.

What were the five numbers and in what order?

 

Posted on: 30 May 2008 | Category: Trivia Math

A tower is born

New impossibly high skyscraper rises from Arabian soil

So if the 7-star Burl Al Arab hotel just of the coast of Jumeira in Dubai on its own man made island wasn't enough of a statement for the Arabians, then the new Burj Dubai tower certainly will be!

This building which is currently in construction nearing completion would be in excess of 800m (818m is the unconfirmed final height) and would be the tallest building in the world by far when completed. The building that held the previous record for being the tallest in the world was the Taipei 101 building standing at 509m tall. The 'skyscrapers' below the Burj Dubai used to look tall! It is said that at any point in time Dubai hires 15% of the world's cranes....with structures like these it is not hard to believe. Whaowee!!

 

Posted on: 29 May 2008 | Category: World Architecture

 

CAD Monkeys

don't we all feel like this some days....

A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there, another customer walked in and said to the shopkeeper, 'I'll have a CAD monkey please.'
The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop and took out a monkey. He fitted a collar and leash, handed it to the customer, saying, 'That'll be £5000.'
The customer paid and walked out with his monkey.
Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said, 'That was a very expensive monkey. Most of them are only few hundred dollars. Why did that one cost so much?'
The Shopkeeper answered, 'Ah, that monkey can draw in AutoCAD - very fast, clear layouts, no mistakes, well worth the money.'
The tourist looked at a monkey in another cage. 'That one's even more expensive! £10,000! What does it do?'
'Oh, that one's a Design monkey; it can design systems, layout projects, mark-up drawings, write specifications, some even calculate. All the really useful stuff,' said the shopkeeper.
The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third monkey in a cage of its own. The price tag around its neck read £50,000. He gasped to the shopkeeper, 'That one costs more than all the others put together! What on earth does it do?'
The shopkeeper replied, 'Well, I haven't actually seen it do anything, but it says it's an Engineer.'

Posted on: 29 May 2008 | Category: Architect humor  |    |

 

Shop 'till you drop dead!

HUSBAND'S WORST NIGHTMARE...

The biggest commercial project and biggest shopping centre in the world featuring 560,000.00sqm of gross building area....yes, you guessed it, this mall is nearing completion and is just another one of many mega buildings in Dubai, U.A.E. The ultimate in shopping fun in the sun redefined!

 

Posted on: 29 May 2008  |  Category: World architecture  |    |